The Family That Snores Together

I am a very light sleeper, and one of the things I was grateful for when Blake and I first got together was that he didn't snore.  Not only do I wake easily, I happen to find snoring one of the top 5 most annoying sounds ever (right up there with alarm clocks and nails on a chalkboard).

Fast forward 3 years, and like all good relationships ours has gone through many changes.  For instance, snoring.  It began as the occasional snore when Mr. Perfect was congested from allergies, and a little rub on his arm or back was all it took to stop the snore in its tracks.  Now it's a nightly occurance, usually starting right about the time I turn off my Kindle to fall asleep.  Blake (who falls asleep before I do) has some kind of internal alarm that lets him know, "Hey!  She's putting that thing away!  Quick, start snoring NOW!"  The arm/back trick still works...for about 5 seconds.  The moment I turn over and get comfy the snoring starts again.  Luckily Blake also has this wonderful trait of being able to fall back asleep immediately (Baby Aidan, are you listening?!), so when I wake him up and ask him to turn over, he usually falls back asleep in the middle of his apology.

Then along came Callie.

You would not believe the snoring power encapsulated in this little furry bundle.  There have been nights where I actually woke up Blake, mistaking her snores for his!  And it doesn't stop at snoring.  She barks, whines, and growls in her dreams, sometimes in between snores so it sounds something like this:  "rrrrrRUFF!  Zzzzzzzzsnore.  rrrrrrRUFF!  Zzzzzzzsnore.  whinewhinewhinewhinewhineSNORE!"  This comical midnight show usually ends with Callie waking herself up and looking at us like, "Who was making all that noise?  You woke me up!"

Up to now I have remained the silent sleeper, patiently sacrificing my sleep as long as possible so my hard working husband and wee baby pup can get their much needed zzz's.  (Insert Blake rolling eyes). Then there was the third trimester.  A few nights ago I was falling gently asleep when a loud "snorrrrrrre" jerked me out of my relaxed state.  I opened my eyes and rolled over to check on my husband and puppy...and found myself alone in the bedroom.  Must have been a dream, I thought rolling back over.  Until it happened again...and this time I felt the rumble in the back of my throat and nose.  Great.  I now officially have the pregnancy snores.

So if you hear a slightly out of tune trio at about 3 in the morning, the gentle soprano "rrrrrrrr" with the robust tenor "RRRRRR" and the occasional "rrrrrrRUFF!", don't worry.  It's just our nightly family ritual, helping to bring us closer together than ever, uniting us in our mutual lack of sleep.  



The Evolution of Aidan

Today I start the third trimester-only 12 weeks until our little man arrives!!  That's more or less the blink of an eye.  Here's a basic rundown of questions and answers that I think most of you will have in mind:

Q. Are you ready?
A. Are you kidding?
Q. What I mean is, is the nursery ready?
A. By ready, do you mean painted and furnished?  Because, no.
Q. Do you have colors picked out?
A. YES!  Finally, one I know the answer to.
Q. What are you colors?
A. Khaki and Red
Q. No blue?
A. No, got a problem with that?
Q. What is your theme?
A. I don't do themes.  There will be a rock 'n' roll motif (which my husband informs me is just a fancier word for theme), but no cutesy animals, dinosaurs, or Disney themed characters.  I have a thing against cutesy.
Q. Hmmm, and how are you handling those hormonal fluctuations?
A. Just FINE, thank you.

I find the question "Are you ready?" so humorous, because really-is anyone ever really ready?  In my humble opinion, you could have a college degree in child rearing and STILL not be ready.  Not to say that Blake and I haven't done our share of homework, we just haven't gone "What To Expect When You're Expecting" crazy.  As my wise husband says, "Cavemen and teenagers have had babies for centuries, and the human race is still around.  I'm pretty sure we'll be ok."  Check back in 12 weeks and see if that philosophy is still holding.

The real question is, is my body ready?  A week ago I would have answered with great certainty, "YES!"  Then Blake and I watched a special on TV about Life Before Birth: From Conception to Birth.  It began with a description of conception, showing us how nearly impossible it is for a sperm to reach an egg and fertilize.  We already knew we were lucky and blessed beyond belief, but now it felt like we won the Lottery-the really big inter-state Powerball that's worth millions and impossible to win.  Just as we were congratulating ourselves the screen shifted to show what happens to the female body as the baby grows larger, dominating her entire torso, crushing her lungs and forcing her heart to swell in size and rotate 45 degrees.  Umm, what?  "Finally," Courtney Cox-Arquette said with a wry smile (she was hosting the program), "the baby triples in size during the last 2 months of pregnancy."

I looked at my belly.

Blake looked at my belly.

I started to cry.

I'm gonna be HUGE!  This baby is going to TRIPLE IN SIZE!!!  I'm not so worried about what my body will look like after this is all over, after all I gave up hopes of flat abs about the same time I gave up on P90X.  I'd say I'm more worried about falling over everytime I stand up, and since the odds are generally in favor of me falling when I'm not carrying around an extra human in my stomach...you get the picture.

Speaking of pictures, let's get to the point...the evolution of Aidan so far:

Week 12

Week 16

Week 20

Week 24

Week 28

I know I'm cheating wearing all black the bigger I get, but I don't care.  Only time will tell if I will be doubling as the Good Year Blimp at the 2012 Superbowl.  In the meantime, Aidan and I will be enjoying double helpings of dessert at Christmas.  After all, I should at least try to enjoy this, right?!